Acamea Deadwiler

Writer. Dreamer. Professional Creative.

For Phenomenal Women to Whom Nothing Comes Easy

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Sometimes, as women, we feel the need to be stronger than most. We feel like we have to take less crap to be taken seriously. We strive to be near perfect, well put-together, and at the top of our game in all aspects of life.

A large part of the reasoning behind such an idea is in response to a societal structure that has historically regarded women as a subservient species here for the pleasure of men. We’re to be quiet and look pretty, but not TOO pretty. Our place is presented as wherever the cooking and rearing of children are being done. Sure, we can take up hobbies and work a bit, but it is never to take precedence over our predetermined womanly duties. That’s the system into which we have been placed.

However, some of us choose to rebel. 

We refuse to conform to someone else’s idea of who we should be, and scoff at diminishing philosophies. We have this light, you see, and we know it. Thus, we must let it shine. The purpose that is within us must be fulfilled. Our potential is limitless, and the greatness to which we aspire knows no bounds.

So, we hold ourselves to higher standards than those deemed simply acceptable or even expected. We demand more both for and from ourselves. Discipline and self-sufficiency are cultivated to a level that serves our ambitions. Though we are all a continuous work in progress, in romantic relationships we want a partner, not a full-on project. Support is desired over co-dependency.

Elevated targets are less often and easily met. As a result, this purposeful journey can be one that is rough on occasion, and even lonely. It can feel as though everything is a struggle to obtain and a fight to endure. This leads to us sometimes wondering, “is it me?” Am I asking for too much? We evaluate our principles as they relate to others, life, and ourselves – deep down already knowing the answer. Our requests aren’t unreasonable. They are, however, less common. Some may unfairly associate this element with more complicated.

It feels like a raw deal. We’re seeking only what we are willing to give, and desire no more than we’ve worked (damn hard) to achieve. Yet, our efforts and patience often seem futile as things seldom unfold in our favor. Whether true or perceived, others appear to make their way through life with much less resistance.

Maybe you’ve been given this life because you are strong enough to lead it, phenomenal woman. Because you are so phenomenal, not to be confused with perfect, as well as driven, passionate, and strong – you’re built to overcome.

Perhaps, the more extraordinary you are, the more challenging the journey. You either require the ‘more’ that you seek, or inevitably settle for less. You sometimes wish that you could be more content and agreeable. It would certainly make things less exhausting. But the easier life is not always the most fulfilled. 

I know, the road gets long and the soul gets weary. Rest, and then pull yourself back up with the knowledge that the world needs you. Little girls dreaming of becoming something greater than what they’ve seen, need to see you. You don’t owe them anything. You do owe you, however. You owe it to yourself to reach your potential and live a life that you are proud of.

Some of us are fine existing within the system, and that’s alright too. For the woman who may not consider herself especially aspirational, for whom it is enough to excel in the roles of mother and partner, your path does not lose significance. Because you want different does not make you any less remarkable, or worthy of that which you seek. The whole point, above all things, is to be who you choose to be – Phenomenally.

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